*clears throat*

GAH, remember the good ol' days with me and uberaeryn spamming LJ eleventy-seven times a day? WHY THE HELL NOT???? Capslocks, random outbursts, and lunatic questions WERE the norm. I guess I'll have to do it w/o Uberaeryn, which will make me look like even more of a loony than I am. UNLESS I CAN LURE HER OUT OF HIDING????????

WHY WON'T MY MARDI GRAS BEADS STAY ON MY LAMP? I THINK THEY'RE MUTINING (is that a word) BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN TO MARDI GRAS, WHICH IS SHOCKING AND APPALLING AND DREADFUL AND IT MEANS I HAVE TO GO TO MARDI GRAS NEXT MONTH. SHOULD I FLASH MY BOOBS?

to me, this is a crisis. to you, it means I can't exactly spam til I go to the dr.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must inform my readers (hee, that sounds so IMPORTANT! Y'all ARE important, also slightly nuts for reading this nonsense) that I FUCKING NEED GLASSES. OR I NEED FUCKING GLASSES. OR FUCK, I NEED GLASSES. Any way you look at it (bwahahahahahaha, I'm funny...not?) I can't see to read anymore. That means I can't see to type. HOW CAN A SPAM QUEEN DO HER SPAM DUTIES IF SHE CAN'T SEE??? I SEE NO CREATIVE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM, MAYBE BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE SQUAT. That means that although I've been getting scripts for reading glasses for the last 3 years, I've been throwing them in the garbage but now I need to fill the next one. I mean, they look GREAT on some people but they make my face look like Barney without the purple. Also Barney doesn't wear glasses. Still, use your imagination. THIS CALLS FOR A TEMPER TANTRUM, BRB.