Lost fic: Beached

[alliecat8]

Characters: Jack/Juliet/Sawyer
Rating: G (crack!fic)
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 327
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams
A/N:Ficlet written for my interview at thequillstation, which will be posted tomorrow, but I put it in my journal tonight with elliotsmelliot's permission so it'd make this week's Lost newsletter (thanks, elliotsmelliot and eponine119!)



“He’s out,” Jack said, dropping Sawyer’s nearly-pulseless wrist. “Who knows how long he’s been here.”

“So what’s your diagnosis?” Juliet asked. “Sun poisoning, alcohol poisoning, food poisoning, what?”

Jack gave the body on the beach a disgusted look. “I can’t find any wounds, but more than likely somebody tried to kill him. No doubt he was asking for it.”

“Is he breathing?” Juliet asked. “I could try mouth-to-mouth….”

“Well, he definitely needs something,” Jack said. “But it’s my job to save his life, not yours.”

Juliet put her hands on her hips and scowled at him. “How come? I’m a doctor, too.”

“It’s my destiny,” Jack informed her haughtily. “I save him once every season, in case you haven’t noticed. You deliver babies, but I don’t think that’ll help him right now.”

Juliet poked her bottom lip out and said, “No fair. If you save someone they’re beholden to you for life, and I want him more than you do.”

“Well, I don’t know about that. It could come in handy, having Sawyer as my bitch for eternity. I could make him keep his grabby hands off of Kate, for one thing. And it’d be pretty cool to have him fan me with palm fronds and peel grapes for me.”

After that they launched into such a heated war of words that neither one of them noticed when Vincent ran up to Sawyer’s prone form and enthusiastically began to lick his face. Sawyer came to, spitting and cursing. Then he recognized Vincent, threw his arms around the dog and said, “Thanks, boy!” He was so busy hugging the dog and scratching him behind the ears that he didn’t even notice the shocked glance that Jack and Juliet exchanged.

“Vincent?” they said in unison, and watched as the dog grabbed Sawyer’s wrist gently in his teeth and pulled him toward the jungle. In that moment they knew that they had both lost. After all, it’s a dog’s life.

Comments

[eponine119.livejournal.com]

Crackfic OT3? This was so not what I expected! (or, wait, is Vincent part of the quadrangle now? um, ick?)

Anyway, hee! This was fun and I like Jack and Juliet fighting for ownership of Sawyer. That might make a fun not-crackfic OT3 as well! :)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Hee, no wonder you didn't expect crack!fic -- how often do I write it? But what the hell, if everybody's fighting over Sawyer, might as well add Vincent into the mix. ;)

I ♥ you for putting me in the newletter as a last-last-minute addition. And the idea of Jack and Juliet fighting over Sawyer for realz is intriguing...en guarde, anyone?

[scoob2222.livejournal.com]

heee...i love crackfic

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Yay! So do I, but the muse rarely feels silly enough to write it. I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D

[halfdutch.livejournal.com]

Ahaha! Thanks for making me laugh! I need it after that finale! :)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

PERFECT icon! And it makes me happy that I made you laugh. *smooch!*

[zelda-zee.livejournal.com]

Ha-Ha! It's adorable! And to think I almost skipped it, cuz I thought it was an OT3 fic.

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Hee, I usually skip those OT3 fics myself! Guess I could've billed it as an OT4, but that would've been kinda gross. Thanks for reading, darlin'! :)

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

“It’s my destiny,” Jack informed her haughtily. “I save him once every season, in case you haven’t noticed. You deliver babies, but I don’t think that’ll help him right now.”

OMG LOL!! And Vincent winning it in the end!!! And Jack saying he wants to have him as his bitch for eternity to keep him off Kate! *dies* OMG this was a riot. I loved it!

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Ha! I love you for loving it! I think that after the intensity of the finale I was so wiped out that I got in a ridiculously silly mood, and this was the result. I'm so glad you liked it. :D

[inthekeyofd.livejournal.com]

Sick Sick ending..AND I FREAKIN' LOVED IT!!! :) Vincent totally pwns them ALL!! :)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

LOL. I'm glad I have a teenager so I know that SICK doesn't mean BAD! Thanks for reading, and love ya, babe! ♥

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

Sawyer ♥ Vincent for life now! jack & Juliet: you both lose! Ha!

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Hee, I was mean to everybody I love, wasn't I? But all in good fun; those people are so serious all the time, they NEED a good dose of silliness. And so do we! Thank you for reading! *smooch!*

[siluria]

Vincent??? Well, I guess he's the only one that hasn't seen any action in 5 seasons ;)

I love your brain :)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

sometimes my brain scares me. ;)

Now YOUR brain, I adore. You're such a sweetheart for reading this crazy thing and liking it. You deserve a thousand *smooches!*, and NOT from Vincent! *hugs you tight*

[siluria]

Hun, I would read your shopping list ;) *squishes*

[alemyrddin.livejournal.com]

"It’s my destiny," Jack informed her haughtily. "I save him once every season, in case you haven’t noticed"
LOL. So true! ;)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Heh, I wondered if anybody would pick up on that line! He DOES, it's like a rule or something, Jack must save Sawyer's life every season. In S5 he pulled Sawyer back from the hole, or Sawyer would've gone right in there after Juliet. *cries a little*

I wonder if we'll ever get the chance to see Sawyer save Jack's life?

Thank you for reading, love! ♥

[missy-useless.livejournal.com]

“It’s my destiny,” Jack informed her haughtily. “I save him once every season, in case you haven’t noticed. You deliver babies, but I don’t think that’ll help him right now.”

LOL

Thanks for making me smile. This was such a pleasure to read. ;D

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Hee! I'm so glad this made you smile. Lost gets so intense, it needs a dose of silliness now and then. I hope Sawyer and Vincent will be very happy together! ;D

Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥

[jaydblu.livejournal.com]

Ha, this made me laugh! I love Juliet and Jack's conversation.
Go Vincent! At least he'll be able to fetch things for him. ;)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks for reading this! I'm glad it was good for a giggle or two. And yes, I think Sawyer and Vincent will have a lovely life together. After the reception Sawyer got from him in the finale, at least we know he'll be loved. :)