Lost fic: Maelstrom
Jun. 19th, 2009 05:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alliecat8Title: Maelstrom
Fandom: Lost
Characters: Sawyer/Juliet
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 540
Spoilers: Through the S5 finale "The Incident"
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams
WARNING: This is a dark, awful fic. It shouldn't be allowed to exist, but I was advised to "get it out of my head" so I did. Read at your own risk, and don't blame me. Feel free to lynch my muse, though.
Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
thequillstation's Great Minds Think Alike? challenge, inspired by Bob Dylan's song, "Shelter From the Storm."
I woke up, hurt and lost in the dark. It all came back too fast, Jack and the bomb and that crazy nightmare magnetic storm. Losin’ her. Then there’d been a flash and now I was awake and broken, all alone.
Where was I? Obviously not on the plane, or landin’ safe at LAX. Not dead, no, I just wished I was dead, and God don’t care about my wishes. Was I still on the island? Maybe in a cave somewhere, or maybe underground? I thought about her again and knew she wasn’t here. Nobody was here. Where did they all go?
After a while I figured out that I was in an empty place, no light or sound, no walls or doors, nothin’ but myself and all the time in the world to think. My body was black and blue, cut and bleeding and I thought about Jack, who I beat half to death – and then I turned around and rushed in to save that son of a bitch, and it got her killed. I don’t remember much after that but I remember him draggin’ me away, there in the storm before the blinding light. Why did he have to save me? Why didn’t he just let me go?
I sat there in the dark and I knew I’d been here before. Once upon a time I’d loved somebody who was bright and beautiful, who nursed me when I was hurt, and when everything went wrong and my father stormed into our house she told me she’d keep me safe, told me it’d be okay. She lied. She lied and she left me there in the dark under the bed, and nothin’ was okay again for a long, long time.
Yeah, everything comes back around. I loved Juliet more than I’ve ever loved anybody, more than she ever knew. I needed her, she was my light, my comfort from the storm, but she left me just like my mama did. All of her light and her love, gone. I didn’t hate her for it, though, how could I blame her? It wasn’t her fault. I sat in the dark and it was all I could think about, how it wasn’t either of their faults. And just like before, when I was hidin’ under that bed and hurtin’ inside like a motherfucker and she wasn’t there anymore to take away the pain, I found something else to make it go away. I found rage, rage blacker than the dark, and that’s what kept me alive.
It’s what will keep me alive now, too. Somehow I’ll get out of this place. I know I will, because there’s nothin’ here, no food or water and without them I’ll die, and God won’t let me die. He’s not that merciful. So I know I’ll find my way out, and then I’ll do what I have to do. I’ll find him. Wherever I am, and wherever he is, I’ll find him. I’ll cross oceans or deserts. I’ll cross the whole world. I’ll even cross time if I have to, and I’ll hunt him down and I'll kill him. I’ll make Jack pay for what he did. It’s the only comfort I’ll ever have again.
Fandom: Lost
Characters: Sawyer/Juliet
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 540
Spoilers: Through the S5 finale "The Incident"
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams
WARNING: This is a dark, awful fic. It shouldn't be allowed to exist, but I was advised to "get it out of my head" so I did. Read at your own risk, and don't blame me. Feel free to lynch my muse, though.
Written for
thequillstation's Great Minds Think Alike? challenge, inspired by Bob Dylan's song, "Shelter From the Storm."I woke up, hurt and lost in the dark. It all came back too fast, Jack and the bomb and that crazy nightmare magnetic storm. Losin’ her. Then there’d been a flash and now I was awake and broken, all alone.
Where was I? Obviously not on the plane, or landin’ safe at LAX. Not dead, no, I just wished I was dead, and God don’t care about my wishes. Was I still on the island? Maybe in a cave somewhere, or maybe underground? I thought about her again and knew she wasn’t here. Nobody was here. Where did they all go?
After a while I figured out that I was in an empty place, no light or sound, no walls or doors, nothin’ but myself and all the time in the world to think. My body was black and blue, cut and bleeding and I thought about Jack, who I beat half to death – and then I turned around and rushed in to save that son of a bitch, and it got her killed. I don’t remember much after that but I remember him draggin’ me away, there in the storm before the blinding light. Why did he have to save me? Why didn’t he just let me go?
I sat there in the dark and I knew I’d been here before. Once upon a time I’d loved somebody who was bright and beautiful, who nursed me when I was hurt, and when everything went wrong and my father stormed into our house she told me she’d keep me safe, told me it’d be okay. She lied. She lied and she left me there in the dark under the bed, and nothin’ was okay again for a long, long time.
Yeah, everything comes back around. I loved Juliet more than I’ve ever loved anybody, more than she ever knew. I needed her, she was my light, my comfort from the storm, but she left me just like my mama did. All of her light and her love, gone. I didn’t hate her for it, though, how could I blame her? It wasn’t her fault. I sat in the dark and it was all I could think about, how it wasn’t either of their faults. And just like before, when I was hidin’ under that bed and hurtin’ inside like a motherfucker and she wasn’t there anymore to take away the pain, I found something else to make it go away. I found rage, rage blacker than the dark, and that’s what kept me alive.
It’s what will keep me alive now, too. Somehow I’ll get out of this place. I know I will, because there’s nothin’ here, no food or water and without them I’ll die, and God won’t let me die. He’s not that merciful. So I know I’ll find my way out, and then I’ll do what I have to do. I’ll find him. Wherever I am, and wherever he is, I’ll find him. I’ll cross oceans or deserts. I’ll cross the whole world. I’ll even cross time if I have to, and I’ll hunt him down and I'll kill him. I’ll make Jack pay for what he did. It’s the only comfort I’ll ever have again.
