alliecat8 | Lost fic: Mr. Fix-It

Title: Mr. Fix-It
Fandom: Lost
Characters: Sawyer, Jack
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 596
Spoilers: Through the Season 5 finale - "The Incident"
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams
A/N: Written for

lostsquee's luau Queen

elise_509.

“Will you stop?” His hands spasm around Jack’s throat and he’s caught between wanting to kill, and needing a reason to let go. ”Will you stop?”

“No,” Jack says, and Sawyer’s known it all along. Jack won’t stop, not when he has a chance to fix something.

He knows Jack so well.

He knows that the only way to stop him is to kill him. His fists take on a life of their own as they pummel and smash and destroy. Jack can’t fight back against that human storm, he’s already a dead man and then someone says “Stop.”

It’s just a word. Words can’t stop him and his fist rises again, but she says, “James,” and he does. Words have no power over him but names do, and James is not a killer, so he stops.

He’d tried to tell Jack. He’d opened his soul, told Jack what burned deep inside of him, shared that glimpse of hell he’d witnessed on the day his parents died. And he’d told Jack why he didn’t go back, why he didn’t try to fix his past – because he had fixed it. Here on the island he’d risen above it and found a life, found himself. He’d found James, and he’d fixed him without going back, without cheating. “I had a life here,” he’d told Jack but Jack didn’t understand; he couldn’t.

All Sawyer’s life he’d grieved, not only for his parents but for the boy he could have been, the boy he thought had died on that fatal day and was reborn a monster, a person defined by hate, a killer who lived only for revenge. But he’d gotten his revenge here on the island and it hadn’t changed him, hadn’t cured him. It hadn’t fixed him.

He was still Sawyer, and then in a flash of pure white light, he was reborn. He found a home. He found love; true love this time, not that self-loathing half-light he’d always thought was love. He’d found people who had faith in him, and through them he found faith in himself. He took care of them because they believed in him. And he took care of her because he wanted to give her a happy life, because it was through her that he’d found his own.

She called him James, his secret name, and the others called him Jim, the name he’d been called as a little boy. In time he became Jim, and he made peace with James. Deep inside, he felt like the good little boy he’d wanted to be, and the good man he’d wanted to grow up to be.

But Jack can’t understand, because Jack hasn’t found himself yet. It’s impossible to hate Jack when he understands him so well.

And then it’s over, everything’s over and he lies by her grave, a hole in the ground surrounded by chaos, wishing it would pull him in, too. To live without happiness, now that he's found it, would be too much to take. Maybe if they die together, they’ll get another chance.

He’s blind and deaf, numb to everything that’s going on around him, until he feels Jack’s hands dragging him away. Minutes ago those hands had been fighting him to the death and now they are saving his life – and maybe that sums up them perfectly. Jack’s arms are still around him when suddenly there’s a flash, and everything goes white.

Rebirth.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

demonqueen666.livejournal.com

Minutes ago those hands had been fighting him to the death and now they are saving his life – and maybe that sums up them perfectly.

Oh god, it does, doesn't it? It really, really does.

Great look into S5 Sawyer and what he was feeling. It sort of hurt my heart to read, but it was so truthful and so good.

Wonderful job.

From:

Thru with accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so

Lost fic: Mr. Fix-It

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