The Etiquette of Boob Flashing, compiled by a genuine Southern Belle

[alliecat8]

Hey, this was in a comment thread, but haldoor wanted to know what is so special about getting Mardi Gras beads. (Mardi Gras, if you're not from around these parts, is a big stinky party they hold on Bourbon Street in New Orleans every February for God knows why, but if you don't get throw-up on your shoes you haven't lived the full experience.) I thought it needed to be explained by EVERY Southerner who knows, even those who don't read the thread, so I posted it here. If you don't know, sit back a spell and getcherself learned. ;)

MY SOUTHERN PEEPS, PLEASE EXPLAIN TO MY FAVORITE KIWI (um, that would be haldoor) what is so special about those beads!!! Defend our boob-flashing honor, ladies! You may include moon pies in your statement, as well.

Comments

nerdy perspective

[eponine119.livejournal.com]

Mardi Gras is on Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, a big party before Lent begins. It began, I believe, as an Acadian tradition in rural parts of Louisiana and also Alabama.

At the heart of the Mardi Gras tradition are krewes, essentially social clubs, who each hold their own parade during the six week Mardi Gras season. They throw trinkets from their parades -- "throws." A popular throw is beads.

New Orleans being what it is, and Bourbon Street being what it is, it is a big excuse for drunken partiers and tourists. The way it works is that if you flash your tits, the partiers on the floats/balconies will throw you beads.

(It's not part of the original tradition and public nudity is illegal in New Orleans.)

Re: nerdy perspective

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Yes, thank you for the facts! That was good and I enjoyed it and it was informative (although I knew most of that stuff but I couldn't be the one to tell it, it's just wrong for a southern gal to be so informative until she knows someone well -- it's like sex, which we can't have til we're maried, mmmmmm hmmmmm, but we don't do it on LJ -- so I'm glad you filled haldoor and others in. BUT THAT LAST SENTENCE,

*ducks; don't hit me*

HUSH YOUR MOUTH, YOU HUSSY!!! I MEAN ANTI-HUSSY! EVEN THE COPS FLASH THEIR BOOBS AT MARDI GRAS, IF THEY HAVE ANY. I HAVE A THEORY, BUT I WANNA KNOW FOR SURE FROM OTHERS -- DOES ANYBODY GET ARRESTED FOR THAT ON BOURBON STREET? ME, I'D ARREST THE COP. PARTY-POOPER.

Re: nerdy perspective

[eponine119.livejournal.com]

Scarlett, calm down. I have read that they try to crack down on the flashing but I would be pretty surprised if people get busted for it on bourbon street. (Maybe at one of the daytime family parades though.)

AND YOU HAVE BEADS ALREADY YOU HUSSY THAT'S WHAT STARTED THIS OFF.

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

HAHAHHAA, I am so glad I don't live there... I can imagine people wanting me to flash my non-existant ones, and that would just be too bad! Much as I'm sure I'd have a blast at Mardi Gras (which everyone knows is just an excuse for a party - and there's nothing wrong with that!) I sure as hell wouldn't be seeking beads! What do they give you for a kiss?

AND EPONINE'S RIGHT, YOU STARTED THIS WITH YOUR ALREADY FLASHED AND RECEIVED BEADS!

Re: nerdy perspective

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Dearest, not only would you be jumping and waving and...whatever...for beads, you would be brawling in the gutters for a moon pie. :P

Uh-huh. *NODS*

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, no one sees my tits! I'm not girlie enough to even want beads, though I'm sure the rest of it would be AWESOME FUN!

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

PS: what's a moon pie?

Re: nerdy perspective

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Ok, first of all, you can, if you're clever, get beads w/o besmutting yourself. I got mine walking down the street with Megan, and a man had a strand that he held out and I ducked into them. Now I'm depressed. That was a dull story. At Mardi Gras (which I've never been to), they throw out beads to the crowds lining the steet, but really, unless you're way up on a balcony, you get plenty of beads. And don't forget, you will be DRUNK. Even if you don't drink, the atmosphere does it. So you jump and yell and plead for cheap plastic beads, because it's WHAT YOU DO!!! Moon pies are...omg I'm gonna get in trouble if I get this wrong, but I'm too proudly Southern to look it up...two large graham cracker cookies with marsmallow filling, all coated in chocolate. And they are a PRIZE; almost as good as beads.

You would not believe what kind of crazy person you'd become, even if you didn't drink. How can you reisit? ;)

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

HAHA!

Well, they do sound tasty, at least!

Hee - well, I know me, and flashing my tits is not something I'm likely to do even when drunk out of my skull! The one thing about being small-breasted is that I have never and will probably not ever show them off in any public sort of way! But if you can get beads without doing it, then I bet I can too!

I do wish I could make it your way one day... I'm sure we'd have a blast, at Mardi Gras or no... but I only have ten pairs of shoes, including my slippers and my gumboots, so don't expect typical feminine behaviour! ;-P

*sigh* I've always wanted to head for Anne Rice country... not quite made it yet, although I did get to attend a motorcycle swap-meet in rural North Carolina once!

Re: nerdy perspective

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

WAIT.

I'd stopped LJ-ing and was trying to sleep and listen to Phantom of the Opera but I heard the bllllllliiiiing when your message came through so I checked and...

In one of my replies I said something about me and Megan playing in Anne Rice's backyard, but I think I deleted it because I decided it wasn't OT. But what? You wanna come to Anne Rice country? Get your kiwi butt to my house pronto! It's so close it's hardly even a road trip.

(Or we can just dream about someday....)

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

OH, dammit, I have to come. When can I win Lotto, please? *hugs you tight* Now you can sleep!

Re: nerdy perspective

[gregoria44.livejournal.com]

Is 10 pairs of shoes not enough?!

(And you could always cut a coconut in half and wear it as pretend boobs like Baloo. Not that I've given this any thought or anything...)

>>butting in ends//

Re: nerdy perspective

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

See, Baloo had it all figured out. He'd have been covered in beads if he wore those to Mardi Gras. Somebody should write that.

NO AMOUNT OF SHOES IS EVER ENOUGH. I LOVE Y'ALL MADLY, BUT MY MIND CAN'T PROCESS THIS. IF YOU HEAR A BOOM THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HYDROGEN BOMB EXPLODING, IT'S NOT JACK OR JULIET, IT'S MY BRAIN. *off to count shoes...could be gone all day*

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

*points to the example above for gregoria's sake! Haha. Wouldn't you love to know how many she has now (G'ori, not Allie - we can guess Allie's still counting!) ;-P

Re: nerdy perspective

[gregoria44.livejournal.com]

Maybe she'll get back to us after she's dug herself back out of the pile!!

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

10 pairs of shoes is definitely enough: slippers, gumboots, jandals, three pairs of summer shoes (sandals; one black, two brown - one everyday, one slightly nicer), two pairs of winter boots (one black, one brown), a pair of black, flat winter shoes and a pair of running shoes.

Definitely all one needs, IMO, but I think you better check with the lady who took 17 pairs with her on a cruise once...(whereas I probably would have taken one pair for every day, running shoes, jandals and the slippers, and that's it!)

(hahhaa, I prefer to keep them well-covered! Coconuts can slip off!)

Re: nerdy perspective

[gregoria44.livejournal.com]

What are Jandals? My mind has been racing for clues since I read this!!

And Baloo didn't fare too well with his cocobra in the end - we don't want you carted off by King Monkey, now, do we?

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

You call them flip-flops, I believe! Nothing terribly exciting, but everyone owns a pair here - absolute essential summer casual footwear! ;-)

If King Monkey looked anything like Johnny Depp, I might consider the coconuts!!!

Re: nerdy perspective

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

wait, the lady who took 17 pairs of shoes on the cruise -- was that me? 'cause I thought I took more.

Re: nerdy perspective

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

I may have got the number wrong... but I thought it was 17??? MY questions are these:

1/ How many pairs did you leave at home?
2/ Where did you pack your clothes and did you have room for any?
3/ Where do you wear all these shoes?
4/ Don't your feet hate you yet?

*winks* You enjoy the shoes, darlin'; I'm just jealous I don't like them more, then I wouldn't find them so hard to buy when I actually need some!

[ozmissage.livejournal.com]

Sorry for butting in, but I had to comment.

I was born in New Orleans but my parents whisked me away to South Georgia when I was two so sadly I remember nothing about being there. But one of my favorite pictures of me as a kid is one where I have this wacky, sparkly wig thing on for Mardis Gras.

Now I have no recollection of what went down that night, but my parents have two jars of Mardi Gras beads that sit in a cabinet in our living room. I don't know how they procured them and quite frankly I'm too afraid to ask.

Also, Moon pies are love. Particularly the banana flavored ones. :D

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Butting in is what LJ threads are all about. Feel free to butt anytime!

Your parents were probably smart to move. I love N.O., but only in small doses. Crime is high, bad shit happens (Katrina wasn't the only hurricane; they happen a LOT), and back then the place was crawling with tourists and crazies. It's starting to get that way again, which I guess is a good thing 'cause I'd hate to see my favorite city die.

I gave up sugar last week and now we're talking about banana flavored moon pies? *summons internal self-control guru* I have an absurd urge to go make an icon of one. Please tell me no. Also no going to Walmart and buying them. They only count if you get them from the Boubon Street gutter.

How are your mom's boobs? That might answer your question right there. Not that it's any of my business and if you tell your mom that there's a crazy chick on LJ asking about her boobs, I'll smite you. 'Cause I know you live in South Georgia so you wouldn't be so hard to find. ;)

[ozmissage.livejournal.com]

And here's a sentence I never thought I would type: My mom has great boobs. She's been teasing me about the fact that she had double D's since it became apparent I was going to stay a regular old C cup. Oh, God. See now I just went to a scary mental place.

Given up sugar! You are a much stronger woman than I am.

'Cause I know you live in South Georgia so you wouldn't be so hard to find. ;)

Heh. I wouldn't be so sure. My town is so small, that you can be standing in it and not realize you're there. If it wasn't so sad it would be awesome. ;)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

I could find you. You're the traumatized chick everybody's talking about, wandering around aimlessly muttering about your mother's boobs.

See, I could be a detective! :D

[bittersweet325.livejournal.com]

That's always like the ultimate moment when you know Mardi Gras is on, when you're sick of yelling for beads and drunk enough to just be like "Here are my boobs, give me beads now."

I miss going to Mardi Gras now that I'm back in the North.

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

I think you nailed it perfectly. Yell til you're hoarse, DRINK til you don't care anymore, then take the practical route and flash. You'll never see those people again anyway (except the ones you come with, so you'd better be sure they like your boobs).

Here's a Cosmic Question that the Universe told me to ask you: Would you flash for a moon pie if you were drunk enough?

[bittersweet325.livejournal.com]

In fairness, I'd flash for pretty much anything if I were drunk enough, so sure! I don't know what that says about me lol. I guess it says I'm AWESOME at Mardi Gras...Also at St. Patrick's Day or any holiday where drunken shenanigans aren't frowned upon (which at least in Savannah, GA was most weekends lol).

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

I need to move to Savannah, then. Drunken shenanigans are frowned upon eternally where I live. Whoa, St. Patrick's in Ireland. That would be next month. LOTTERY, WHERE ARE YOU??????? I'm going in June. Think they'd hold it off til I get there?

I even have green beer goggles. Must make icon.

[haldoor.livejournal.com]

Strangely, I think Americans do the St. Pat's thing to the nth degree more than the Irish. I think the Irish are more subtle, anyway! haha! (yes, me, the rude Kiwi bitch who won't flash her boobs here again!)

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

wait, that's not me. that's some oddly bizarre stranger who's obviously had enough already.

[jaydblu.livejournal.com]

I've been to several Mardi Gras (we have a ton of family down there) and drunk off my ass, but I never flashed my boobs. I came home with a ton of beads, but that's probably because I had to pick them up off the ground.
It's a good time if you don't mind smelling other peoples armpits because you're wedged together so tight in some spots. :D

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, armpit stink is sick. And yet, how can one describe the smell of Bourbon Street? Sweat, hurricanes and king cakes and beniets and moon pies and beer, both fresh and regurgitated on the sidewalk, rotting garbage (because I swear they have no sanitation dept), good food smells wafting from the restaurants, and skank-smell from the stripper joints. I'm sure I missed some stuff, but somebody oughtta make a list and bottle it. I'd get it just so I could giggle every time I saw it. Of course it'd have to be decorated with beads, and maybe a tiny plastic baby for luck. You should invent it. THERE, I just made you rich. You're welcome. :)

[jaydblu.livejournal.com]

LOL. You just described it perfectly. And in the summer, it's even more ripe. ;)