He Looks At What Is and Asks, "Why Not?"
Jul. 15th, 2010 07:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alliecat8Title: He Looks At What Is and Asks, "Why Not?"
Characters: Jack/Sawyer
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1671
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams
Jack and Sawyer sat just alike, both with their knees drawn up to their chins, their arms wrapped around their legs, both radiating extreme displeasure. They scowled out at the crystal-clear blue water, not seeing it but seeing all of the violence and death and homesickness and just plain boredom the island had wrought when they were here before.
“This is your fault,” Jack told Sawyer.
“Tell me how exactly this is my fault,” Sawyer said, sarcastically amused.
“Because everything’s always your fault.”
Sawyer rose to the bait. “That’s a damn lie, doctor. The bomb was your fault.” He didn’t mention Juliet’s death, and neither did Jack. They both knew how sorry he was, and how right Sawyer was that it was all Jack's fault.
Jack's shoulders sagged. “Okay, this is nobody’s fault. It doesn’t make sense, though, what are we doing here?”
The first time they’d met at the church, they’d gone into the light and found new lives on the other side. Some of them were in the process of being born, some of them were the age they’d decided to be when they died and went to the church. They’d all had new lives, and if they weren’t all happy, exactly, they were restful, as if the universe realized they needed a break after what they’d been put through before. They didn’t remember the island, or one another. Still they touched each other’s lives in some way. Although they were destined to live many lives through reincarnation, this group was bound together and would never totally part.
Naturally, they all died at some point, and they found themselves at the church again. The church, an object of their creation, but also the way they would meet up with each other before they moved on, every time. It was a beautiful concept.
Except, the universe wasn’t so easy on them the next time, at least not on Jack and Sawyer, who went into the bright light and found themselves right back on this damned island.
They had been here several weeks and had already checked out every inch of it. They found their old camp and New Otherton and all of the hatches, and they knew they weren’t in the seventies because the hole where Juliet died was gone and the Swan station was blown to bits but had obviously once existed. They found evidence that everything that had happened on the island, had really happened. And they remembered all of it.
What they didn’t find was people. “Do you think we’re supposed to bring people here like Jacob did?” Jack wondered.
“You think we’re the new Jacob and Smokey?” Sawyer snapped, partly out of anger and partly out of fear. If they were the archetypal “good guys” versus “bad guys,” he knew which one he’d be.
“No,” Jack said. “Hurley changed things. He wouldn’t have allowed another Smokey on the island. He wouldn’t have wanted to be a god, that’s why he was in the church like the rest of us, he found a way to die.”
“He didn’t want to be on this island anymore, any more than the rest of us, so he cleared everybody out and left it empty. That’s prob’ly why we got sent here.”
Jack was quiet, staring out at the ocean. He believed now that life was a spiral, repeating the same story over and over with improvements every time until it was perfect, and then it was over. He believed that this was true on a personal scale and on a universal scale as well. Would new people come here and cause trouble like the ones before them? Or were Jack and Sawyer at the end of their spiral? When they died this time, instead of going on to new lives would they cease to exist, or would they move on to another place, another plane of existence, what some called Heaven, or Hell? He had a feeling that the answer was hidden from him, but he was obsessed with it anyway. Sawyer seemed unconcerned, which was good; they wouldn’t talk about it and make Jack worry more.
“So you think we’re here ‘til we die, Doc?”
“Unless someone comes to rescue us,” Jack said wearily, exhausted just by the thought of going through all of that again.
“What do we do in the meantime? The houses are already built. There’s food, and we can get fresh meat from the boars; that should be easy with just the two of us. We’d best hunt separately so we don’t get caught in one of Danielle’s or Claire’s traps together.”
“Oh god,” Jack moaned, thinking of all the things they’d have to tally up to watch out for, even if the Smoke Monster was gone.
“We’ll fight,” Sawyer said decisively. “You and me, we’ll fight. How come, out of everybody in that church, the two of us got sent here together? We might’ve settled our differences in other lives, but we’ll think of new ones and we’ll fight about them. And we’ll fight ‘cause we’re bored. What else is there to do?”
Eat, sleep, and stare at the ocean, Jack thought. Soon they’d both be crazy and then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Then he was startled out of his reverie by the last thing he’d expected.
Sawyer’s lips brushed experimentally across Jack’s.
“We could…you know,” he said. He did it again, this time a little harder and instead of being repulsed, as he thought he would, Jack felt himself responding.
Still, he pushed Sawyer away. “What about Juliet?” Sawyer and Juliet had been together in the last life. They’d had a daughter who was weirdly named (in Jack’s opinion) after Juliet’s favorite fruit: Clementine. They’d had a full, happy life, and they’d loved each other until the end.
“Juliet ain’t here,” Sawyer said, the pain raw in his voice. “I mean, she is here, everywhere I look I remember her being there, but she ain’t really here now. I guess I just have to wait it out til the next life when I see her again.”
He sounded so certain that he’d see her again that Jack believed him. It must be nice to have a soul mate like that. He and Kate had been married, but they’d never been as close. He realized that he didn’t miss her at all.
“I’m not gay,” Jack said, stating the obvious.
Sawyer sighed, impatient. “I ain’t gay either, Doc, but I take what life throws me. We’d be better off as lovers than fighters, I’d say.” He leaned in to kiss Jack again, and this time Jack let himself be drawn into the kiss, tongues sliding against tongues, beard stubble rasping as cheeks and chins rubbed together, Sawyer’s hands under Jack’s shirt. Jack raised his arms obediently when Sawyer pushed his shirt up, and he took off his own shoes and pants while Sawyer undressed.
Something inside of him throbbed at the realization of how hard and sculpted and golden Sawyer’s body was. Sawyer was looking at him, too, as if Jack’s body had surprised him in a very good, sexual way. The air between them was thick with lust. This must have been here already, Jack thought, this attraction between them, or they wouldn’t have responded to each other so quickly. He remembered times on the island when….
Sawyer’s big hands pushing him down onto the wet sand interrupted his thoughts. Sawyer’s mouth on his cock made him incapable of thinking at all. Sawyer licked and played for a while, rubbing his hands over Jack’s chest and stomach, until Jack was fully hard and straining proudly upward. A small wave washed over them and he was glad for the soft wet shore, or his butt would be full of sand and in pain right now. Sawyer engulfed his cock in his mouth, root to tip, and his thoughts fled again. Sawyer sucked and moved his head up and down a few times, then he looked up at Jack, who was watching him through hooded eyes. Jack saw a question there, in the blue eyes that seemed to have stolen their color from the sea, and he was too mesmerized by those eyes to figure out the question right away. Sawyer bobbed his head a few more times and looked back up at Jack, and Jack suddenly understood. He began to slowly fuck Sawyer’s mouth. Ohhhhhhhhhh….he’d never felt anything like that. Sawyer’s throat was open, allowing him to push deep, and when he pulled back Sawyer sucked and licked and played with the head. He used his tongue on the underside of Jack’s cock and Jack wanted to come right then, but he also wanted it to go on forever.
Summoning all his willpower he filled Sawyer’s mouth with his cock a few more times. Then he pulled back slowly, allowing the wanton slide of Sawyer’s tongue along the underside of his shaft until it reached the base of the head, and that’s when he let go. He’d thought Sawyer would take it out and let him come on the sand, but instead he sucked him all the way in and swallowed every drop. Jack felt like he was pouring the whole ocean into his throat. When he was done Sawyer stopped moving but still held him in his mouth for a few seconds, and Jack relaxed into the feel of Sawyer’s long, sun-warmed hair spread over his thighs, and the waves bathing them gently. Then a big rogue wave picked them up and tried to draw them out to sea, and Sawyer let go quickly and they swam back to shore, laughing.
“I thought I was gonna drown.” Sawyer’s voice was impudent. “First from the waves you spurted down my throat, then from the waves in my nose! And there you were, just floating along full of bliss….”
Jack laughed. “Do you want me to make it up to you?”
Sawyer’s smile was soft and hopeful. “For the rest of our lives.”
End
Characters: Jack/Sawyer
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1671
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams
Jack and Sawyer sat just alike, both with their knees drawn up to their chins, their arms wrapped around their legs, both radiating extreme displeasure. They scowled out at the crystal-clear blue water, not seeing it but seeing all of the violence and death and homesickness and just plain boredom the island had wrought when they were here before.
“This is your fault,” Jack told Sawyer.
“Tell me how exactly this is my fault,” Sawyer said, sarcastically amused.
“Because everything’s always your fault.”
Sawyer rose to the bait. “That’s a damn lie, doctor. The bomb was your fault.” He didn’t mention Juliet’s death, and neither did Jack. They both knew how sorry he was, and how right Sawyer was that it was all Jack's fault.
Jack's shoulders sagged. “Okay, this is nobody’s fault. It doesn’t make sense, though, what are we doing here?”
The first time they’d met at the church, they’d gone into the light and found new lives on the other side. Some of them were in the process of being born, some of them were the age they’d decided to be when they died and went to the church. They’d all had new lives, and if they weren’t all happy, exactly, they were restful, as if the universe realized they needed a break after what they’d been put through before. They didn’t remember the island, or one another. Still they touched each other’s lives in some way. Although they were destined to live many lives through reincarnation, this group was bound together and would never totally part.
Naturally, they all died at some point, and they found themselves at the church again. The church, an object of their creation, but also the way they would meet up with each other before they moved on, every time. It was a beautiful concept.
Except, the universe wasn’t so easy on them the next time, at least not on Jack and Sawyer, who went into the bright light and found themselves right back on this damned island.
They had been here several weeks and had already checked out every inch of it. They found their old camp and New Otherton and all of the hatches, and they knew they weren’t in the seventies because the hole where Juliet died was gone and the Swan station was blown to bits but had obviously once existed. They found evidence that everything that had happened on the island, had really happened. And they remembered all of it.
What they didn’t find was people. “Do you think we’re supposed to bring people here like Jacob did?” Jack wondered.
“You think we’re the new Jacob and Smokey?” Sawyer snapped, partly out of anger and partly out of fear. If they were the archetypal “good guys” versus “bad guys,” he knew which one he’d be.
“No,” Jack said. “Hurley changed things. He wouldn’t have allowed another Smokey on the island. He wouldn’t have wanted to be a god, that’s why he was in the church like the rest of us, he found a way to die.”
“He didn’t want to be on this island anymore, any more than the rest of us, so he cleared everybody out and left it empty. That’s prob’ly why we got sent here.”
Jack was quiet, staring out at the ocean. He believed now that life was a spiral, repeating the same story over and over with improvements every time until it was perfect, and then it was over. He believed that this was true on a personal scale and on a universal scale as well. Would new people come here and cause trouble like the ones before them? Or were Jack and Sawyer at the end of their spiral? When they died this time, instead of going on to new lives would they cease to exist, or would they move on to another place, another plane of existence, what some called Heaven, or Hell? He had a feeling that the answer was hidden from him, but he was obsessed with it anyway. Sawyer seemed unconcerned, which was good; they wouldn’t talk about it and make Jack worry more.
“So you think we’re here ‘til we die, Doc?”
“Unless someone comes to rescue us,” Jack said wearily, exhausted just by the thought of going through all of that again.
“What do we do in the meantime? The houses are already built. There’s food, and we can get fresh meat from the boars; that should be easy with just the two of us. We’d best hunt separately so we don’t get caught in one of Danielle’s or Claire’s traps together.”
“Oh god,” Jack moaned, thinking of all the things they’d have to tally up to watch out for, even if the Smoke Monster was gone.
“We’ll fight,” Sawyer said decisively. “You and me, we’ll fight. How come, out of everybody in that church, the two of us got sent here together? We might’ve settled our differences in other lives, but we’ll think of new ones and we’ll fight about them. And we’ll fight ‘cause we’re bored. What else is there to do?”
Eat, sleep, and stare at the ocean, Jack thought. Soon they’d both be crazy and then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Then he was startled out of his reverie by the last thing he’d expected.
Sawyer’s lips brushed experimentally across Jack’s.
“We could…you know,” he said. He did it again, this time a little harder and instead of being repulsed, as he thought he would, Jack felt himself responding.
Still, he pushed Sawyer away. “What about Juliet?” Sawyer and Juliet had been together in the last life. They’d had a daughter who was weirdly named (in Jack’s opinion) after Juliet’s favorite fruit: Clementine. They’d had a full, happy life, and they’d loved each other until the end.
“Juliet ain’t here,” Sawyer said, the pain raw in his voice. “I mean, she is here, everywhere I look I remember her being there, but she ain’t really here now. I guess I just have to wait it out til the next life when I see her again.”
He sounded so certain that he’d see her again that Jack believed him. It must be nice to have a soul mate like that. He and Kate had been married, but they’d never been as close. He realized that he didn’t miss her at all.
“I’m not gay,” Jack said, stating the obvious.
Sawyer sighed, impatient. “I ain’t gay either, Doc, but I take what life throws me. We’d be better off as lovers than fighters, I’d say.” He leaned in to kiss Jack again, and this time Jack let himself be drawn into the kiss, tongues sliding against tongues, beard stubble rasping as cheeks and chins rubbed together, Sawyer’s hands under Jack’s shirt. Jack raised his arms obediently when Sawyer pushed his shirt up, and he took off his own shoes and pants while Sawyer undressed.
Something inside of him throbbed at the realization of how hard and sculpted and golden Sawyer’s body was. Sawyer was looking at him, too, as if Jack’s body had surprised him in a very good, sexual way. The air between them was thick with lust. This must have been here already, Jack thought, this attraction between them, or they wouldn’t have responded to each other so quickly. He remembered times on the island when….
Sawyer’s big hands pushing him down onto the wet sand interrupted his thoughts. Sawyer’s mouth on his cock made him incapable of thinking at all. Sawyer licked and played for a while, rubbing his hands over Jack’s chest and stomach, until Jack was fully hard and straining proudly upward. A small wave washed over them and he was glad for the soft wet shore, or his butt would be full of sand and in pain right now. Sawyer engulfed his cock in his mouth, root to tip, and his thoughts fled again. Sawyer sucked and moved his head up and down a few times, then he looked up at Jack, who was watching him through hooded eyes. Jack saw a question there, in the blue eyes that seemed to have stolen their color from the sea, and he was too mesmerized by those eyes to figure out the question right away. Sawyer bobbed his head a few more times and looked back up at Jack, and Jack suddenly understood. He began to slowly fuck Sawyer’s mouth. Ohhhhhhhhhh….he’d never felt anything like that. Sawyer’s throat was open, allowing him to push deep, and when he pulled back Sawyer sucked and licked and played with the head. He used his tongue on the underside of Jack’s cock and Jack wanted to come right then, but he also wanted it to go on forever.
Summoning all his willpower he filled Sawyer’s mouth with his cock a few more times. Then he pulled back slowly, allowing the wanton slide of Sawyer’s tongue along the underside of his shaft until it reached the base of the head, and that’s when he let go. He’d thought Sawyer would take it out and let him come on the sand, but instead he sucked him all the way in and swallowed every drop. Jack felt like he was pouring the whole ocean into his throat. When he was done Sawyer stopped moving but still held him in his mouth for a few seconds, and Jack relaxed into the feel of Sawyer’s long, sun-warmed hair spread over his thighs, and the waves bathing them gently. Then a big rogue wave picked them up and tried to draw them out to sea, and Sawyer let go quickly and they swam back to shore, laughing.
“I thought I was gonna drown.” Sawyer’s voice was impudent. “First from the waves you spurted down my throat, then from the waves in my nose! And there you were, just floating along full of bliss….”
Jack laughed. “Do you want me to make it up to you?”
Sawyer’s smile was soft and hopeful. “For the rest of our lives.”
End
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:37 am (UTC)The idea of the church between every life is an interesting one...there's lots of interesting ideas here actually. Did I really not get it that Jacob's job was to bring people to the island? What was Smokey's job, beyond not being able to leave?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 04:11 am (UTC)The church spawned SO many ideas that I want to chase, and I think my next two fics, which will be loosely related to this one, will include the church. But there are a million random ideas - what if they all met up and discussed their last life (like if Jack or Sawyer mentioned being sent back to the island), and somebody refused to go into the light. What would happen to them? Or, when Ben said he wasn't ready to go into the church, I assumed he was going to Danielle and Alex, but if he was a church invitee, wouldn't that mean he was dead? I think Lost will boggle my mind for the rest of my life!
I think Jacob's job was to bring people to the island because of a conversation he had with Esau. That conversation inspired my "spiral" bit, too. I'm not sure what Esau's job was, but it might have been to "purge" the island of people who weren't good candidates. I think Jacob had wanted to find a replacement for a long time, maybe centuries.
JACOB: I take it you're here 'cause of the ship.
MAN IN BLACK: I am. How did they find the Island?
JACOB: You'll have to ask 'em when they get here.
MAN IN BLACK: I don't have to ask. You brought them here. Still trying to prove me wrong, aren't you?
JACOB: You are wrong.
MAN IN BLACK: Am I? They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt. It always ends the same.
JACOB: It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 04:52 am (UTC)I figured Ben "wasn't ready" because he hadn't been redeemed/was still in purgatory.
And yes, yes I do like when they joke around.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 05:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 03:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 10:10 am (UTC)“No,” Jack said. “Hurley changed things. He wouldn’t have allowed another Smokey on the island. He wouldn’t have wanted to be a god, that’s why he was in the church like the rest of us, he found a way to die.”
Of course! Nice shout out to the H :)
They’d had a daughter who was weirdly named (in Jack’s opinion) after Juliet’s favorite fruit: Clementine.
*wipes ees*
Hahaha! Brilliant!
Whole piece really evocative of the Jacob/MIB beach convo (which in turn is very 'Good Omens' - the book by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman.) Love it.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 05:44 pm (UTC)I think Jack left Hurley in charge because he knew that Hugo wouldn't stand for any bullshit, and neither would Ben. They'd make positive changes on the island if Ben follow Hurley's lead. In the end, Hurley was the perfect candidate!
In my mind, Sawyer and Juliet will have some lives apart so I can indulge my Jack/Sawyer ship, but my Sawyer/Juliet ship will get equal lives. That way I never have to make Sawyer cheat on either of his "true loves." :)
OH, I'm so glad you caught onto what I was doing, using the Jacob/MIB conversation to shape the first part! You are so smart, and you're also wonderful for liking this and saying so. ♥
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 10:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 05:58 pm (UTC)I'm amazed at how everybody who's commented has taken away something deep from the first part...and never mentioned the sex. Heh, I thought I was writing a PWP, but I guess I wasn't. Don't get me wrong - I'm really glad that the first part speaks to people, like the idea of a spiral (Dan could explain it better than me) incorporating many lives - reincarnation - and using what we learn in each life to make the next one better. That's the whole point of reincarnation, I think, and yes, I DO believe in it.
Thank you for reading and for really thinking about this. You're awesome, as usual. ♥
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Date: 2010-07-20 08:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-11 09:23 pm (UTC)Again, sorry I messed up! ♥ ♥ ♥
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Date: 2011-10-02 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-21 09:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-11 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-11 11:29 pm (UTC)And HI! I haven't been on LJ as much as usual lately but I know you've posted, so HI! :D
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Date: 2010-08-03 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-11 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-12 12:55 am (UTC)