put one foot in front of the other
Aug. 24th, 2011 01:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alliecat8I've had a tragedy, y'all. I don't want to talk about it, except to say that I used to have two sweet (friends) cats who followed me around the house and slept - one on each side of my head - with me every night. Now there's only one. It was sudden; it was way, way too early; and it was a horrible, horrible thing.
********
We Live (Superchick)
But with life we never know when we're coming up to the end of the road
So what do we do then
With tragedy around the bend
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
********
My husband's response, after he cried for a while, was to try and distract me with a new kitten. We needed one anyway to be friends with our other kitten, Tandie Kate (we usually get our cats in two's, so they'll have somebody their own age and species around to relate to), so he came home about a week ago with a surprise.
ELSIE
Elsie on her way home.
Elsie trusting Mama enough to take off the covers and cuddle her.
Elsie trying to hide (or just being picturesque, who knows?)
One more time.
Elsie slinking as she does whenever she's outside my bedroom and hasn't found a hiding place yet.
And a couple of gratuitous pics of Tandie Kate
She never had any problems trusting us...
or learning how to play!
The new baby, Elsie, looks just like Clare (my sweet little girl) did as a kitten, and that's why hubby chose her from the shelter. (She got her name, Elsie, from the initials for Little Clare, L.C.) He got her solely on the basis of looks, but we've found out in the week we've had her that she's semi-feral. Her info from the shelter says that she'd been there for a month, and she's three months old, meaning she was probably a stray who's mama taught her to be afraid of people for the first two months of her life. Also she's what's known as a "tortoise shell," and torties are notoriously shy, and they'll often only bond with one person. That was so true of Clare (*cries*). Elsie, for now, is living in my bedroom and I learned over the first few days to block off all the hiding places or I'd never get to interact with her. Now her only options are behind the curtains (I want her to be able to get some sunshine!) and under the skirt that covers my desk, where her food and litter box are (that little baby is a P-I-G pig!), and under my bedcovers. I made the tough decision to let my other "bed baby" sleep with hubby for a little while until Elsie is socialized, and Elsie and I do most of our socializing when we take naps together or just before bedtime. We cuddle, and sometimes I can even bring her out to lie on my chest and look into my eyes. I tell her, "Elsie is good. Elsie is smart. Elsie is brave." That way she's learned her name, at least!
Also, she missed the crucial socialization period from 8 - 12 weeks when mama-kitty or their dedicated owners teach them how to play. Playing, in the wild, is a precursor to hunting and gathering, of course, but in a tame environment it's just cute (if you can ignore the little tooth marks and scratches from soft claws on your hands and feet). The only playing I've seen from Elsie was yesterday when I was supposedly asleep, and she climbed the curtains. I pretended my eyes were still closed and watched her, and she scared herself so bad she had to scrunch up in a little ball behind her kitty bed for a long time.
The point of all this rambling is, does anybody have any advice on how to socialize a three-month-old kitten who has never been in a home with people before? I'd like to introduce her to her new sister, Tandie, and have them become playmates. 'Course, my more immediate goal is just to get her to feel safe enough not to hide! I know my flist is just FULL of cat people - can anybody please HELP???!
********
We Live (Superchick)
But with life we never know when we're coming up to the end of the road
So what do we do then
With tragedy around the bend
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
********
My husband's response, after he cried for a while, was to try and distract me with a new kitten. We needed one anyway to be friends with our other kitten, Tandie Kate (we usually get our cats in two's, so they'll have somebody their own age and species around to relate to), so he came home about a week ago with a surprise.
ELSIE
Elsie on her way home.
Elsie trusting Mama enough to take off the covers and cuddle her.
Elsie trying to hide (or just being picturesque, who knows?)
One more time.
Elsie slinking as she does whenever she's outside my bedroom and hasn't found a hiding place yet.
And a couple of gratuitous pics of Tandie Kate
She never had any problems trusting us...
or learning how to play!
The new baby, Elsie, looks just like Clare (my sweet little girl) did as a kitten, and that's why hubby chose her from the shelter. (She got her name, Elsie, from the initials for Little Clare, L.C.) He got her solely on the basis of looks, but we've found out in the week we've had her that she's semi-feral. Her info from the shelter says that she'd been there for a month, and she's three months old, meaning she was probably a stray who's mama taught her to be afraid of people for the first two months of her life. Also she's what's known as a "tortoise shell," and torties are notoriously shy, and they'll often only bond with one person. That was so true of Clare (*cries*). Elsie, for now, is living in my bedroom and I learned over the first few days to block off all the hiding places or I'd never get to interact with her. Now her only options are behind the curtains (I want her to be able to get some sunshine!) and under the skirt that covers my desk, where her food and litter box are (that little baby is a P-I-G pig!), and under my bedcovers. I made the tough decision to let my other "bed baby" sleep with hubby for a little while until Elsie is socialized, and Elsie and I do most of our socializing when we take naps together or just before bedtime. We cuddle, and sometimes I can even bring her out to lie on my chest and look into my eyes. I tell her, "Elsie is good. Elsie is smart. Elsie is brave." That way she's learned her name, at least!
Also, she missed the crucial socialization period from 8 - 12 weeks when mama-kitty or their dedicated owners teach them how to play. Playing, in the wild, is a precursor to hunting and gathering, of course, but in a tame environment it's just cute (if you can ignore the little tooth marks and scratches from soft claws on your hands and feet). The only playing I've seen from Elsie was yesterday when I was supposedly asleep, and she climbed the curtains. I pretended my eyes were still closed and watched her, and she scared herself so bad she had to scrunch up in a little ball behind her kitty bed for a long time.
The point of all this rambling is, does anybody have any advice on how to socialize a three-month-old kitten who has never been in a home with people before? I'd like to introduce her to her new sister, Tandie, and have them become playmates. 'Course, my more immediate goal is just to get her to feel safe enough not to hide! I know my flist is just FULL of cat people - can anybody please HELP???!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-08-24 07:13 pm (UTC)Elsie is super cute! In terms of socializing, I suggest having the new cat get used to the rest of the household very soon, otherwise she may get too used to being just with you, and then have to go through another transition by discovering she is not alone in your company or affections!
I've brought home farm cats and shelter cats before and mixed them with existing cats. The best thing to do is let the new and older cats work it out between themselves. You could start out slow with quick visits between the two of them and then slowly build up to opportunities for them to be in the same space full time. As you probably know from previous kitties, they may be aloof or even fight while they sort out their places in the house and with you. If you notice too much discomfort in the process, then make sure Elsie has a place she can go to get away from Tandie Kate and vice versa. Best of luck!
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Date: 2011-09-03 04:45 pm (UTC)I'm following your advice VERY slowly, letting one cat at a time come into my room for a "meet and greet" with Elsie. So far they're wary, she's wary. With everybody but Tandie Kate, that is, who thinks she's the best new chew toy ever invented. The weird thing is that Elsie seems to like being chewed on. OH, I've got a pic. I'll post it on LJ later - it looks like they're cuddling but Tandie's chewing and Elsie's blissed out. S&M???
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Date: 2011-08-24 07:56 pm (UTC)aawwwwww, I love the pics, they're so so cute! I miss having a cat so much!
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Date: 2011-09-03 04:47 pm (UTC)(expect a present soon)
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Date: 2011-08-24 08:20 pm (UTC)I have no good advice on socializing kittens but Elsie is absolutely adorable.
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Date: 2011-09-03 05:50 pm (UTC)Elsie IS adorable. So much so that I iconed her. I guess I am THAT girl, sigh.
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Date: 2011-08-24 08:34 pm (UTC)What adorable kitties. ♥ I miss having more than one cat. We went from three to one within a year.
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Date: 2011-09-03 05:52 pm (UTC)Wow, three to one within a year? How's the one that's left taking being an "only"?
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Date: 2011-08-24 09:52 pm (UTC)Tandie Kate is freaking adorable! And you gave her the Cheshire Cat!
You know how much I know about cats but I think Tandie + Elsie will be good. Kittens learn to play from their littermates, so they need each other to play fight with. I would give Elsie a little more time and then just do it.
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Date: 2011-09-03 06:28 pm (UTC)OK, yeah, poor Elsie is scared. Although yesterday you heard about all the ruckus she caused..."watch out!" is right! And SCREAM like a BANSHEE! Elsie plays like a demon at night when she thinks I'm asleep. If there's ANY indication I'm awake she'll go hide behind the curtain again.
I did give T.K. the Cheshire Cat. I hope that's ok...she hasn't damaged it. She seems to be much gentler with it than she is with...well, everything...else.
I think play-fight is the right word. That's what the two of them are doing. I never can tell when Elsie gets tired of it and really truly wants to hide, tho.
Look what I went and did. ^^^ Freak = me
no subject
Date: 2011-09-03 07:03 pm (UTC)Kitties!
Date: 2011-08-24 10:09 pm (UTC)Re: Kitties!
Date: 2011-09-03 06:33 pm (UTC)Thank you kindly for all your advice. I adore hearing from another true Cat Person!
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Date: 2011-08-24 11:52 pm (UTC)I actually did have to socialize a feral tortie one time, though she was more like four weeks old than three months. (And I still have the scar on my thumb from getting her out of the shed.) I put my iPod in, took a book into the bathroom with me, and sat down with a tin of wet food by my foot. (The litter box is going to be godawful, but it's more of a "treat" than dry food.) Also picking up the kitten, cuddling and scritching it under your chin, and then putting it down about five seconds after you start getting a purr and/or the kitten stops struggling. This way each encounter with you ends on a note of kitten getting something that it wants rather than being afraid. You probably want to keep her away from the other cats, even the baby and even if they're not showing any signs of aggression towards each other, until she starts bonding to you. If she gets her socialization needs met through other cats, it makes it that much harder for her to get accustomed to you.
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Date: 2011-08-24 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-03 06:54 pm (UTC)And THANK YOU for all the wonderful advice on socializing torties! I can't believe you've been through the experience of socializing a wild one too - what a coincidence! It isn't easy at all, is it? Elsie knows who the other two "upstairs cats" are (she's in for a shock when she discovers three more downstairs cats!) and she and Tandie seem to have bonded. I think. Does it mean two kittens have bonded when one (TK) pummels the other one (LC) mercilessly but the bedeviled one always comes back for more?
She has her "safe place" behind the curtain, and she plays with her toys like a possessed thing when she thinks I'm asleep at night. LOL, she thinks I don't know! She'll love up to me anytime I want to pet her, so I guess that means she's on her way to being a normal cat...as normal as a tortie can be. And I say that with deep abiding love!
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Date: 2011-09-08 01:38 pm (UTC)Also I meant to tell you that you have SUCH a gift with animals, I want to be you. Well, for that and other reasons, too, like your passionate opinions, though I've had a few in my time, heh. (bumps fists with Saggitarius sister.) But I really just wanted to tell you how much your advice helped and, although so far Elsie hasn't ventured from my room, she rarely hides anymore, plays with her toys even when I'm watching, loves Tandie Kate, and is in the process of being slowly introduced to the other cats. I tell you, having the Elsie Project was the best medicine I could've gotten for what happened to Clare; I still grieve, but Clare is the reason I have Elsie ("LC" - Little Clare), and there's gotta be some good karma in that.
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Date: 2011-09-12 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-25 02:47 am (UTC)Best of luck with the new one. My friends tell me to keep cats separate at first, maybe in different rooms even, so the established one won't feel challenged.
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Date: 2011-09-08 01:50 pm (UTC)Your friends are right - in fact, Elsie still lives just in my room for now, and the other cats visit her for increasing amounts of time each day (one at a time, of course). She's adopted me as "mama cat," and that's the most important part. :D
Sorry I've been AWOL; I'm having an LJ-day today so I'll be catching up with your journal and as many others as I can. Ever since my knee surgery it's like I've been in a time warp - showing up for appointments on the wrong day, forgetting to go places I wanted to go and watch shows I wanted to see, and never talking to my friends. WTF, I got my leg operated on, not my brain. Anyhow, maybe I'm back? *shrugs hopefully*
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Date: 2011-08-25 03:16 am (UTC)As for advice:just let them get used to each other and they'll work out the rest.It always takes some times,but they do learn to get along eventually!
:)
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Date: 2011-09-08 01:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-25 04:24 am (UTC)Elsie is gorgeous! Good luck with introducing her to her new playmate. <3
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Date: 2011-09-08 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-25 07:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-08 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-25 09:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-08 02:06 pm (UTC)p.s. PURR-fect icon!
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Date: 2011-09-09 11:55 am (UTC)See you later!
My kitties are the iconed ones. ;-)
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Date: 2011-09-09 01:01 pm (UTC)I just came from your journal. It's good to finally catch up with you again, darlin'! Oh, and I meant to do that meme 'cause I think it nailed you pretty well. Unless it said anything bad. If it did of course I skipped over that out of loyalty! *smooch*
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Date: 2011-09-09 09:28 pm (UTC)You are too sweet! Thanks, love! *smooches you right back*
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Date: 2011-08-25 03:57 pm (UTC)I actually know nothing about cats because my sister and best friends are allergic, and therefore I can never have one, but KITTY! SO CUTE!
(and I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your other kitty.)
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Date: 2011-09-08 02:11 pm (UTC)Thank you for the compliment and the sympathy. You know I appreciate it. But mostly I'm just happy to hear from you, and fair warning - I'm a-gonna stalk your journal today to see what I've missed in YOUR life (if you're telling!) Love ya, babe!
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Date: 2011-09-09 01:18 pm (UTC)